A year ago today I made one of the most difficult choices of my life; I chose to walk out of an emotionally abusive relationship. A year later it is difficult to pull it together; to not call myself stupid or to question my own judgement. Why didn’t I trust my instincts from the start? Why did I let him treat me the way he did and make light of it? Why did I let myself go back every single time even when he made it clear that he was never going to respect me? Why? Why? I still ask why. But WHY do I?
“On International Youth Day on August 12th, we’ll be reminding the world that women are girls first. Our Girl Heroes series, which shines a spotlight on remarkable girls who are making the girl effect a reality, demonstrates why global development policy must reflect that… Faith is living proof of that.”
When I look back at that description and many others that have been attached to my name, I can’t help but frown what I have become. When did I lose this girl? When did I become so ordinary or even worse, less than average??
So you see on the surface I am an exemplary student or at least I have always lived up to that standard. Graduated top of my primary school class and in the top percentile in my high school. Despite difficult circumstances, I have managed to maintain a good GPA in college. I have taken up more leadership positions that a lot of people my age. The list goes on and on. I am that daughter whose parents brag about in family gatherings you know. Always been Ms. Perfection or that’s what most people know of me on the surface.
Allow me to peel that mask off just a layer, and what we find may not be worth bragging about…